When I originally heard about fake news my reaction was, “I knew something was up. I never believed those social media posts about everybody feeling super on Monday morning or people feeling blessed at every family get-together.
While political posts and sports posts can enrage people, we tend to accept the quotes we see. They’re usually some sort of variation of “early to bed, early to rise, makes a person healthy, wealthy and wise.” Some successful person assures us if you do your best and show up on time for work that good things will come your way. The reverse probably won’t. But I’m always on the look-out for quotes that are true which speak to me or show some wisdom or just make me laugh. The best is when all these come together.
This is an updated list of favorite quotes, that I originally put on my personal Facebook account, into a business blog post. I have taken out a couple of partisan Harry Truman quotes I like and took out former New York Yankees’ owner Jake Rupert quote: “My idea of a good baseball game is when the Yankees score five runs in the first inning and then slowly pull away” though you can use that for your favorite baseball team. There might be too many Spice Girls’ quotes, though I deleted a couple. I wanted to add some Garry Shandling quotes but they’re not business-related enough. Anyway, here are some favorite quotes of mine in no specific order. Hopefully they will inspire, make you learn and laugh and won’t get me in trouble.
#1-“When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.”-Nora Ephron
#2-“If you don’t lie, you won’t have to remember what you said.”-Senator George Aiken
#3-“It is always a risk to speak to the press: They are likely to report what you say.” — Hubert H. Humphrey
#4-“Does anyone have any questions for my answers?” — Henry Kissinger
#5-“If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.”-Steven Tyler
#6-“I don’t care what anyone calls me as long as it isn’t true.” — President Harry Truman
#7-“Don’t look at the hole in the doughnut. Look at the whole doughnut.”-Branch Rickey
#8-“Walk east until your hat floats.”-Milton Berle speaking to a heckler from the audience
#9-“But it’s pretty easy to say that was my advice and had it been taken, everything would have been perfect.”-Congressman Tom Cole (R-OK)
#10-“The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There’s also a negative side.”-Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
#11-“The Rolling Stones & Spice Girls may seem very different but their fan base is the same; men in their 40s”- Loudon Wainwright III in 1998 (we’re now pushing 60 and 60+).
#12-“If you can’t do what you want to do by 1:00 AM, it’s time to go home.” — Billy Martin
#13-“I’ve hit .360 and I’ve hit .240 and tried just as hard both times.” — Joe Torre
#14-“I don’t think you can shock an audience anymore. Me cutting my head off is a great illusion, but when you turn on CNN and there’s a guy really getting his head cut off, it does dilute what I did.” — Alice Cooper
#15-“When you’re 20, you can’t imagine being 30. When you’re 30, you can’t imagine being 40. When you’re 40, you can’t imagine being 100.” — Keith Richards
#16-“I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.”-Francis Bacon (I read the quote in the final book written by Sir Roger Moore called “À Bientôt”).
#17-“If you see ten troubles coming down the road, you can be sure that nine will run into the ditch before they reach you.”-President Calvin Coolidge
#18-“That was absolutely perfect, without being actually any good.”-Clifford aka Richard E. Grant, The Spice Girls’ manager in Spice World commenting on their singing of “Say You’ll Be There.”
#19-“You mean right now?” — Yogi Berra being asked what time it is.
#20-“It hurts too much to laugh but I’m too old to cry.”-Adlai Stevenson after losing the 1952 Presidential Election.
#21-“I’ve stopped telling people my problems. 80% of them don’t care and the other 20% are glad you have the problems instead of them.”-Tommy Lasorda
#22-“There are so many unforgettable moments, you can’t remember them all.”-Yogi Berra talking about the great moments in the history of the New York Yankees. (maybe too Yankees- inspired but you get the Yogism).
#23-“If there were simple answers, we would have found them long ago.”-British Prime Minister John Major
#24-“A lot of people my age are dead and you could look it up.”-Casey Stengel
#25-“Ask not for whom the dog barks. He barks for thee.”-Unknown
#26-“The headless chicken can only know where he’s been. He can’t see where he’s going. Do not be that chicken.”-Sir Roger Moore in Spice World.
#27-“I’m not a genius, I’m just a hard-working guy.”-Brian Wilson of The Beach Boys
#28-“The smile that you send out returns to you.”-Indian Wisdom & from the liner notes of The Beach Boys’ “Smiley Smile” album.
#29-“It ain’t over ‘till it’s over.”-Yogi Berra
#30-“When it’s over, it’s not over.”-Paula Abdul, when a contestant was eliminated on American Idol.
#31-“Don’t hate the black, don’t hate the white. If you get bit, just hate the bite.”-Sly Stone
#32-“No matter how little money or possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich.”-Louis Sabin
#33-“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.”-Frank Sinatra
#34-“The best job you’ll ever have is the one that precedes the one you always wanted.”(the late agent and producer Pat Faulstich pointed out we often don’t appreciate a job until after we’ve left it).
#35-“I’m terribly sorry but it’s true.”-Rachel Maddow on how to answer people who are upset that you criticized them.
#36-“If people on both sides are attacking you, it’s possible you’re doing something right. It’s also possible you are doing everything wrong.”-Professor Jay Rosen
#37-“I don’t know who you are, what you want, or why you are so nasty. Good day.”-Professor Jay Rosen responding to someone on Twitter who gave him a difficult time.
#38-“Live everyday as if it were your last because someday you’re going to be right.”-Muhammad Ali
#39-“Each year at Thanksgiving I try to find someone less fortunate than me to help, and it’s getting harder to find someone every year.”-Soupy Sales
#40-“It was a trial of the human spirit just to live there, and a triumph of faith and fortitude for those who stayed on through the terrible blasting of summer winds, the merciless suns, through the frozen darkness of the winters when the deathly mourn of the coyote seemed at times to be the only signal of life.”-Eric Sevareid on growing up in Velva, North Dakota. Hopefully it has gotten better than when Eric Sevareid was born there in 1912.
#41-“As I once said, I was the future once.”-British Prime Minister David Cameron at his final Prime Minister’s Question Time.
#42-“Nobody lays on their death bed wishing they had saved more no-show jobs.”-Tony Soprano
#43-“Since he died, no.”-Sir Roger Moore responding to the question on whether he still kept in touch with long-time friend and co-star on The Persuaders, Tony Curtis, five years after he died.
#44-“The graveyards are filled with indispensable men.”-Charles de Gaulle
#45-“If you always predict that this isn’t the straw that will break the camel’s back, you’ll almost always be right but will also always miss when the straw breaks the camel’s back.”-Nate Silver
#46-“It was nice knowing some of you.”-My former boss on his last day at our company.
#47-“In a cup FOOL!”-Mr. T responding to how he likes his coffee.
#48-“How can anyone govern a nation that has two hundred and forty-six different kinds of cheese?”-French President Charles de Gaulle
#49-“Rule number one: Always stick around for one more drink. That’s when things happen. That’s when you find out everything you want to know.”-John Berendt
#50-“The older I get, the better I was.”-Van Dyke Parks
#51-“When all else fails, lower your standards.”-New York Times columnist Paul Krugman says he used to know a very good Manager who had this sign on their desk.
#52-“A man who views the world the same at fifty as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life.” Muhammad Ali
#53-“One thing my dogs and I have in common is that we never want me to go to work”-Anonymous via 365 Puppies a Year 2019 Calendar
#54-“Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.”-Mark Twain
#55-“People do occasionally ask if I’ve retired; namely my bank manager and agent.”-Sir Roger Moore
#56-“Any (political) party which takes credit for the rain must not be surprised if its opponents blame it for the drought.”- Dwight Morrow
#57-“It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends on his not understanding it.”-Upton Sinclair
#58-“I say stupid things like that when I’m promoting albums. You gotta take that with a pinch of salt. Course it’s better! This album, if you liked Exile, this is even better!” I can imagine myself saying that.”-Mick Jagger looking back to 1973 when he implied that he liked The Rolling Stones’ Goats Head Soup album more than their classic Exile on Main Street album.
#59-“If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.”-Will Rogers
Any quotes you care to add?